Seriously, if there was one thing I could change about myself, it would be this. To those lucky enough not to suffer from this affliction: no, it is not cute; I will hate you if you point out how red I am; and if you figure out what makes me blush and do it on purpose, I will resent you for a very long time.
Scene: Frozen Section
Characters: Couple, age 20-something. Woman wearing a devestatingly low hot pink t-shirt & a pair of fitted sweatpants rolled twice at the waist that were created without any intention of being sweat in. The man is tall, muscular, and in recalling the event I imagine him speaking with a new jersey accent, even though I’m sure he had no accent at all.
The boyfriend, holding up and shaking two packages of frozen broccoli florets, “What’s the difference? There is no difference!”
The girlfriend, with a voice of strained patience, “Yes there is. One is organic, one is not.”
I sense the woman looking for backup and wait for my inevitable summoning.
“Excuse me, what’s the difference between these two?” The girlfriend asks me, directing at the two bags.
“There is no difference!” The boyfriend insists.
“Um, one’s organic and one’s not,” I say, hoping the hint of sarcasm I cannot keep out of my voice goes undetected.
“See!” The girlfriend makes an emphatic gesture and I watch as her hair moves with the rest of here body but her breasts do not.
“But they’re both organic! Organic just means, ‘natural’,” he says in a matter-of-fact tone.
“No, organic means there are no pesticides,” she says as they both look to me, the organic judge and jury. I nod in the affirmative. The boyfriend goes quiet, stares blankly at his girlfriend for a second, then turns to me and gives me a look that conveys the same level of exasperation as rolling your eyes. I take this as a cue that my part is done and leave them to sort out cabbagey-differences.
Currently eating a spring vegetable pan bagnat with grilled asparagus, butter lettuce, bellwether farm fromage blanc, peas, & shaved fennel olivada from Kitchenette which is located approximately 2 minutes from my work.
I’ve never heard of half those ingredients but I’m in super gourmet sandwhich heaven.
Although I have never been one to blow a whole paycheck on frivolities, I have never been quite disciplined enough to completely and immediately tuck money away. Since I was little, I have always skimmed off at least 20% of all funds received into whatever interest/hobby/obsession I have at the time. Here is a quick review of goods I specifically remember saving for over the years:
Age - Commodity
9 - Beanie Babies
13 - Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs
17 - Muse concert in New Jersey
20 - Booze, Australian
22 - Subscription to Print Magazine, new Radiator, & Soy Milk Powder
